The upbringing of a child is a tough job. At the very start of their family life, some parents always tend to be around their children in every situation. They take care of every single need of their child. But, sometimes they become over-concerned and make things complicated. It is a sign that they are heading towards helicopter parenting. Mostly, they do so without being aware of what they are doing or do not know the signs of helicopter parents. In this article, we want you to see if you are also a helicopter parent.
What is the Meaning of a Helicopter Parent or Hover Parenting?
It is known as the over-involvement of parents in their child’s life. They pay extra heed to every single activity of their children. Moreover, helicopter parents do not leave their children in any hard times or struggles. They want to ensure that their children remain safe from pain and hurdles.
Again, the expert advice of Dr. Carolyn Daitch describes hover parenting as “a style of parents who focus overly on their children. They typically take too much responsibility for their children’s experiences and, specifically, their successes and failures.”
Types of Parenting Style
The parenting style matters a lot in raising children. Yours must be capable of dealing with all kinds of children including a disobedient or rude child as well. It has a significant impact on the life of your children. Moreover, it describes how you interact and communicate with your children. Also, it highly affects their characteristics. Experts have explained four main parenting styles.
1. Authoritarian Parenting
First, authoritarian parents restrict their children to follow the rules. Also, they have a significant focus on obedience and discipline. So, they do not let their children break any regulations or live the way they like. If some of them try to do after the law, they get punished.
They are not allowed to experience and explore new things. They have to obey the standards that their parents set for them. Even these children cannot question anything that their parents have decided. Authoritarian parents do not involve the opinion of their children. Moreover, they enforce them to follow the principles and bound their minds.
2. Authoritative Parenting
The second type is authoritative parenting. They are less strict than authoritarian ones. They respect the ideas and perspectives of their children and consider them. Moreover, these parents make a healthy relationship with their kids. They do so by sharing the mental approach and ideologies. It helps to maintain a positive and creative relationship.
Authoritative parents also make rules but explain the causes of the boundary. Although they provide some leverage to the children, discipline is still the primary key to their lives. Besides, they provide proper time to build positive behavior.
3. Permissive Parenting
Third, permissive parents are much cooperative and understanding. They let the children explore the world. Their perspective allows the children to experience new things and make mistakes. This way their children seek and learn more. They become sharp by making mistakes rather than following ready-made solutions.
Parents do not force their children to remain within limits in this parenting style. They expect and demand too low. The children gain much love and affection from their parents. Hence, both parents and children make a friendly environment. Moreover, the children have true freedom to make their decisions.
Permissive parents are liberal ones. They encourage the hobbies and other activities of their children as well. The most vital support for a child is the essential thing. It builds confidence that does not let the children down in any field of life. Resultantly, the children get responsible behavior and feel happy to help others.
4. Uninvolved Parenting
Finally, uninvolved parenting means the parents who neglect their children. Most of the time, parents are busy with their job or business. So, they do not have much time to spend with their children. Remember that it impacts badly on the children.
These parents do not have time to ask their children about their daily routine. Also, they hardly have one meal a day together. Their children do not share anything with them. Most importantly, they feel scared to say something.
Children need proper guidelines during growing age. Your child indeed seeks more by making mistakes. After committing these mistakes, they need some expert advice. Nobody gives the best advice that a parent can do. In addition, an uninvolved parenting style makes the children live alone and lose their confidence.
Also Read: 8 Helpful Parenting Tips for Toddlers
Effects of being a Helicopter Parent
Sometimes, people do not bother to know the drawbacks or positive signs. They even never care to know the real signs of a helicopter parent. They keep the way as they want. Everything has good and bad impacts. Let’s discuss the effects of helicopter parenting clearly.
1. Advantages of Helicopter Parenting
- Hover parents want to see their child successful, confident, and intelligent. Resultantly, these children get the best focus and attention from their parents.
- Helicopter parents know about the activities of their children. For instance, they see the performance in study, sports, curricular, co-curricular, and extra curricular activities.
- They know where their child lacks in studies or other activities. So, they pay extra focus to fill the gap.
- Hover mom or hover dad keeps in touch with the teachers, coaches, and doctors. Hence, they know about their child’s mental and physical health.
- Spending time with children makes them feel unique and honorable. Moreover, helicopter parenting helps you make yourself your child’s best friend. Thus, a child feels more secure to share personal things.
- Hover parenting does not let the child sit in a poor community. This is because the helicopter parents know about their schedule.
- Moreover, providing self-transport and keeping in touch with teachers restrict them.
- Most children face bullying or harassment in their society. But, if parents keep an eye on the attitude of child, they can save them from evil communities. Now just think, ‘Are you a helicopter parent?’
2. Disadvantages of Helicopter Parenting
- When you start getting the solution to every problem for your child, your children do not learn to fight their battles.
- Your children do not experience facing the problem alone. Similarly, they become lazy and always look at the hands of others for help.
- They do not develop new and creative skills. These children live on spoon-feeding and cannot survive on their own. Moreover, they do not explore their hidden talents.
- Nagging pushes the children away from studies and other activities. Moreover, it might be possible that the more you restrict your child forcefully from bad habits and community, the more they get into it. So it is better to advise gently.
- It may decrease the confidence level and self-esteem of the child. Furthermore, children feel anxiety and discouragement.
- A child must learn advocacy for themselves. They can ask or refuse anything efficiently and respectfully. But if you become an advocate for your child, a child loses confidence. They would not be able to speak up for themselves.
- The relationship between child and parents is precious. But, nagging a child can ruin this beautiful relationship. Children think of it as spying and get irritated.
- Constantly interfering in someone’s life will make them super angry. It leads someone towards misbehavior and immorality.
- If, out of hardluck, one of the parents is not a helicopter parent, it may bring disrespect to the married life of the couple. The child may receive adverse effects as a result.
Read Also: Struggling with Family Communication
Helicopter Parenting: How to Keep Balance?
Every parent loves their children, but it is not compulsory to over-focus and over-concern everything about your child. Here are some tips to balance the helicopter parenting things:
- Become friends with your children and support them in every means of life. Moreover, do not abuse your children because it may damage their mental health.
- Make sure to encourage them to do their work and face their problems. Also, help them to find the solutions.
- Make them independent and confident enough to pass every hurdle.
- Ask children to communicate and share their every problem with you instead of providing the backup.
- Provide them a complete chance to share their opinion. Additionally, respect and consider their ideas.
- Let them plan and organize minor in-house events. Accordingly, children will be able to think and execute creative ideas.
- Keep in mind their interest in subjects and other activities. For sure, your child doesn’t have to pick the same topic or activity as per your wish.
- Spending time with your child is good, but give them some private space. The personal life of a child is equally important.
What makes a Hover Parent?
Some important reasons are always there to develop a helicopter parent. These are:
- Indeed, some parents start comparing their children to some others. Every child has their abilities. So, do not compare your child with someone else. It might lower the skills of your child.
- If someone felt unloved and neglected in their childhood, it impacts their mental health. Parents start nagging their children. This over-concentration makes them annoyed. Such children, in their turn, may cut themselves off from their elderly parents and leave them to face abuse at nursing homes.
- Parents feel stressed regarding their child’s job and career opportunities. So, they continuously monitor their successful activities. Since it’s all about hard work, faith, and destiny, be patient.
- Sometimes you compare the concentration of other parents towards their children and start doing the same thing.
Your children need attention. Over concentrated behavior may lead them to be aggressive. Of course, a child can sometimes be stubborn, you should not expect mature behavior from them all the time. Moreover, a child cannot learn appropriately without exposure. Hence, let them be accessible and give them a fair chance to see the world and its color with their own eyes. Consequently, it might be possible that your children get a better experience than yours or you may also get to know some new things. Have faith and be confident of and supportive to your child. Don’t own them due to your over concentration or neglect.