A relationship is all about pushing boundaries from both sides to accommodate one another. Many consider relationships to be synonymous with compromises. It is because both parties compromise on many levels to walk together in life. However, there are many non-negotiables in a relationship that every person should communicate with their partner to keep it healthy and transparent. These are the no-go areas that cannot be bent or debated.
This piece will discuss the top 5 non negotiables in a relationship that every person should know to build effective and lasting relationships.
What is meant by Non-Negotiables in Relationships?
As the name suggests, non-negotiables are things that cannot be compromised in any situation. In many cases, these are bases that solidify any relationship. By creating these boundaries, partners get involved in a healthy relationship. But the most important thing to consider is that every relationship is different. And therefore, all of them have different criteria for non-negotiables. Things that might be considered red flags for some people are the building blocks of another relationship. For example, making compromises can be a non-negotiable in one marriage, and in another one, lack of it can lead to divorce.
On a side note, it’s a fact that 73.2% of marriages end because of a lack of compromise and commitment, according to PsychCentral.
5 Non Negotiables an Every Couple Should Have
Following are some key things that are considered non-negotiables in most couples. You can take inspiration from them to set your own boundaries in a relationship.
1. Respect in a Relationship
Respect looks different in every relationship. So, it is necessary to communicate your expectations with your partner. It increases the authenticity of the relationships and makes them stronger.
Another thing that is linked to respect is appreciation. Respect in a relationship makes it healthy, trustful and does not have space for jealousy. So, it is a non-negotiable that your spouse or partner should support, respect, and appreciate you. According to the article in SAGE Journal, many studies have defined healthy relationships as based on qualities like trust, safety, love, and support.
2. Two Way Communication
Showing vulnerability is the main thing in building healthy communication. And if one partner is not good at communicating well (both in times of happiness and in escalations), it brings hiccups in the relationship.
And let’s be clear about it. Communication does not mean talking about the kid’s day at school, buying parents a car, or some other third-person’s issues. Infact, communication is a two way street. Good communication between a couple happens when they solely talk about themselves. How are they feeling lately? What has their day been? Are they feeling low lately? These are some personal-level discussions that are a significant green flag. And it is a major non-negotiable that everyone should set to foster their relationship.
What do Experts Have to Say About it?
Shelley Sommerfeldt, a relationship expert and clinical psychologist, says that,
“In order to have an open, honest, and vulnerable relationship with our partner, we must be able to communicate in a healthy manner.”
3. Make your Relationship Authentic
What is an authentic relationship? It is closely related to vulnerability. If the relationship is not just a hookup and you both are truly in unconditional love, you must be planning for the long term. For that, faking your persona, style, and thoughts is not possible. Plus, you can’t fake perfection as well as you might have posed while dating.
Long-term partnership or marriage is not always about intimate hugs and long drives at night. And that’s the beauty of it. People’s authentic selves are filled with fears, emotional baggage, traumas, and many other imperfect sides of them. So, it should not be acceptable for both partners to hide themselves or their emotions behind a mask or fake anything.
What’s the key here? Trust and love are the foundation of everything – from building authentic relationships to being vulnerable in front of your spouse. If you ridicule them, shut them up, or ignore them, things will go south. It is better to hold their hands and let them know you understand them the most.
In crux, showing your authentic inner self and getting vulnerable can be a risk, but it can be worth it in the end.
4. Setting Mutual goals in a Relationship
Having some sort of goals and destination keeps the couple aligned even after decades when the initial spark fades away. So, as you step into a new relationship, communicate the mutual expectations and create goals to achieve. It can be materialistic, like buying a home, saving for the future, or going on a world trip every few years.
With clear communication, you both can openly share your dream goals and find a mutual point to settle on. The more it can be identified in the early time of dating, the better. It is because you can stop right then and there if things are going poles apart.
Look What Experts have to Say about Setting Mutual Goals
According to an article published by the American Psychological Association, when people get supported by their spouse to achieve daily goals, they feel a sense of satisfaction and relief. Hence, it is a major aspect that everyone should consider when stepping into a relationship.
5. Jealousy in a Relationship
Jealousy comes in many forms and eats up the relationship like no other. It gets suffocating for people to live in such an environment. They do not thrive if their partner or spouse constantly nags them or suspects them.
Once you or your partner develops this feeling to an intense level, it gets really tough to bring everything back to normal and gain trust. It is because things go downhill from there and often end up in divorce as well, in the worst cases.
Therefore, it is a big no-no if your spouse shows red flags of jealousy here and there in the dating phase. It is better to be off of them and prioritize your peace of mind.
A healthy connection can not thrive if you and your partner or spouse do not discuss the non-negotiables in the relationship. Maintaining clear and honest communication and trust is the first and foremost step. Then comes the vulnerability that deepens the connection and cements it with mutual love and respect. There should be no room for unnecessary arguments, escalations, or jealousy in a respectful relationship. By communicating your goals and dreams, you both can work together to build a happy future.